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I Made The Mistake Of Watching USA Cricket.

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USA cricket sucks, no I don’t mean the wireless provider with the obnoxious animated characters in the commercials, I mean the sport team.If you are saying, “I didn’t know the US had a team” you would be partly correct, I am not sure anyone told the guys on the team that the US has a team either.As the biggest anti-fan of cricket I have ever met I thought I would at least take a look into the local squad and see if they had anything to offer. I knew they were not going to be impressive, they are playing in the “League 2” world cup right now… League 2, I don’t care if it is a sport that Americans have never heard of, a little pride please, there is a standard to uphold in international contests.Losing in sports that we don’t care about is acceptable, Cricket, and soccer being the most notable, but at least qualify.Bangladesh qualified for the real world cup… Bangladesh. (We won’t bring up the embarrassment in a sport that the USA is good at, Basketball, because well, it’s basketball) …

Kissing Your Sister, The Worst Feeling. But The Best England Can Hope For.

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“Tying is like kissing your sister” The long held mantra of coaches meant to illustrate that while a tie is not going home with nothing it is certainly less than an ideal outcome.Now I really don’t know who came up with this one (it was Duffy Daugherty, but he coached at Michigan State so we will pretend he doesn't exist), but certainly not a coach who felt they got lucky with the tie, which is certainly the case sometimes.Or maybe it was a coach who felt they should have won and knew that the idea of kissing one’s sister might be worse than nothing at all.Personally I never minded the phrase, I don’t have a sister, so I just assumed that my teammates who had sisters would share… which was not always an unappealing proposition. (You know who you are) I digress.Point being ties suck, most of the time. As anyone who has had a cold streak in blackjack will tell you, sometimes a push feels like a win. Following week one of the NFL season there was one tie, Detroit at Arizona.A Detro…

The Indian Cricket Board Goes Toe-To-Toe with NFL Bafoonary on Domestic Violence

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Well folks I am almost prepared to accept cricket as a real sport, not quite but a little bit. And it is for one reason only; the ineptitude of the governing body.Recently the BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India…. Sick name) has stated that they have “no concern in personal matters” which sounds a lot like the NFL’s stance on domestic violence as well.
On Tuesday a court in India issued an arrest warrant for Indian national team Fast-Bowler Mohammed Shami, he will have to turn himself in within 15 days.Currently India is playing a test series in the West Indies, I am guessing that the extradition policy there is pretty lax, not suggesting you just don’t go home Mohammed, but it seems like a real option.Now accusations of domestic violence are nothing to be taken lightly, (Though based on past practice Roger Goodell thinks differently) and I do not want to confuse anything.Shami, is not accused of hitting, or physically abusing his wife in anyway, or at least not according to …

Update: I Still Hate Ben "Ginger Garbage" Stokes.

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Can someone please please reach out and explain to me why the hell people are still fans of this idiot. This absolute trash human, easily my least favorite human on the face of the earth (Drake is close) but Ben Stokes is a clear winner in my world.( If you are not aware of this history I strongly recommend reading these first: Why Cricket Sucks and I declare a Feud and Stokes Accepts Feud)  I do not understand how this dumb-ass is still embraced by the cricketing society.  I am pretty fed up with it, and yeah I know that I am in a nation that is completely irrelevant in the sport of cricket. And I mean REALLY irrelevant; the USA 20Twenty team just lost to Canada, Canada, let that sink in……..FREAKING CANADA!!! Those soft mamby-pamby canucks, the same ones who felt the USWNT celebration was a bit much! (Also a former blog)
I digress, the point being I am not a voice that can shape the cricket landscape, even though I am pretty hot on the cricketing scene in Ukraine (shout out those fo…

College Football Week 0's Most Exciting Moments May be Punts

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The moment we have all been waiting for has arrived, since I began this blog it is safe to say there have been very few meaningful sports.Yes there was the Stanley Cup Finals, and the Women’s World Cup, but both of those seem ages ago.No, for the most part it has been cricket and baseball, and I am getting a little fatigued of trying to find something interested about those flat-bat morons across the pond, and I really can’t keep up with the 45 games a day that the MLB plays.But that struggle is over, because football is back, and none of that pointless preseason crap. They played on an 80 yard field, your argument about the preseason being relevant to anyone but an undrafted rookie is invalid.College football kicks off this week, a version of the sport that I, and most people, find infinitely more entertaining than the professionals.If they had a college fantasy football I would potentially never watch the NFL again.

My biggest issue with college football is that it is run by the NC…

Soft Move by the PGA Giving Head Starts

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Well we are rapidly approaching the end of the summer and that means it is almost time for some real sports to fire back up, or at least enter a time of the year that matters.Baseball is looking to have some exciting wildcard races with some meaningful September games coming up.College football starts “Week 0” this week, but real important games just a week away. Somehow college football week one is coming several days after Starbucks brings the Pumpkin Spice Latte back, which seems just plain wrong but I guess they want to get to the basic white girls wallet before the back to school. I digress, point being that some sports that matter are about to be back, and I am pumped.But this weekend is the conclusion of another professional sports season, and I am less excited than I was a year ago.The PGA Tour Championship at East Lake is this coming weekend.
Last year the tournament at East Lake in Atlanta was home to at the time perhaps the greatest Sunday walk in the sports history when T…

A Cruel Joke by the Sporting Gods; Cricket Season Never Ends!

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I have taken a bit of a hiatus from talking about cricket at all.That is primarily because the ICC World cup ended with an England victory and my least favorite person ever (BenStokes) being named man of the match.Obviously I was not thrilled about that, as good of a match as it was going into a Super Over (an extra 6 balls to each team) and ending up being decided on boundaries.I am not entirely sure of the boundary count back rule, but I do know that there were people from all over the cricketing world crying out that there was a mistake made.So far as that the Australian coach, in a move so soft and pusillanimous that he may have to move to England, called for a potential “sharing” of the 2019 world cup.A controversial way for my bracket to fail at the last moment, I had Australia over India in the final so not 100% accurate, but still the winner.

Former Ohio Basketball Star Granted Maternity Leave After Unique Drug Test Failure

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Everyone has seen at least one TV show where a character tries some elaborate played out trope to pass a drug test.  The most notable to me being the Oil-Change episode of Blue Mountain State, where it is suggested that the football team undergo a very invasive procedure to clean up their urine.  The use of prosthetic appendages loaded with clean pee is a popular cliché, from BMS to when Vince used it to avoid violating probation in Entourage.  No matter how it gets there it is always the acquisition of reliable clean urine that proves a challenge.  As far back as Elaine in Seinfeld, who borrowed a coworkers stuff after realizing she ate a poppy-seed bagel.  If you recall that did not go well for Elaine at all, and she lost out on a trip abroad with J. Peterman because he thought it was too risky to bring a menopausal woman along. (The woman who donated the sample was a little older than Elaine at the time) Sometimes Life imitates Art, and the best laid plans reveal some interesting …

The Miami Marlins Just Made a Mistake Bigger than Trading Yelich and Stanton

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Freedom of speech, Right to expression, defense of the first amendment and the right to make a joke about whatever you please.  These are all things I hold dear, I think that there is humor in anything and love when widely known organizations join in on the fun.  I find the slightly asinine Twitter account of Wendy's to be charming, and think that it is a model more companies should follow.  The stuffy professional PR campaigns of most businesses are geared to not offend an audience that simply isn't going to be the key demo on twitter.  You want to keep it all classy and above board? Fine, go buy some ad space during Garrison Keillor's program, or reruns of The Golden Girls on TV Land.  But if you're going to be on Twitter, you had better have the wit of Betty White, not cater to her peers.

That being said the Miami Marlins went too far in a recent Twitter tet-a-tet with the Tampa Bay Rays. (not the Devil Rays, that changed in 2008, right about the same time as the W…

One Day Contracts are Stupid

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So it seems we are in the hot season for one day contracts, one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.I understand players and organizations wanting to commemorate a player’s loyalty and contribution to a team, but why not make it an actual contract, display some mutual loyalty and respect through actual play.Most recently and locally Jordy Nelson signed a one day contract to retire with the Packers, merely a year after they released him out of nowhere and he went to spend a year with the Raiders.If the packers felt his contribution and legacy were so important, why not just let him ride out the last few games with the team he had spent his whole career with?Now there will always be that black mark on the record. Donald Driver had the dignity to take a pay cut, stick around and ride off into the night.I think that one day contracts are a bad look for both sides, almost an admission that they made the decision to part ways purely for financial reasons, and not for the good of the gam…