Posts

Soft Move by the PGA Giving Head Starts

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Well we are rapidly approaching the end of the summer and that means it is almost time for some real sports to fire back up, or at least enter a time of the year that matters.Baseball is looking to have some exciting wildcard races with some meaningful September games coming up.College football starts “Week 0” this week, but real important games just a week away. Somehow college football week one is coming several days after Starbucks brings the Pumpkin Spice Latte back, which seems just plain wrong but I guess they want to get to the basic white girls wallet before the back to school. I digress, point being that some sports that matter are about to be back, and I am pumped.But this weekend is the conclusion of another professional sports season, and I am less excited than I was a year ago.The PGA Tour Championship at East Lake is this coming weekend.
Last year the tournament at East Lake in Atlanta was home to at the time perhaps the greatest Sunday walk in the sports history when T…

A Cruel Joke by the Sporting Gods; Cricket Season Never Ends!

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I have taken a bit of a hiatus from talking about cricket at all.That is primarily because the ICC World cup ended with an England victory and my least favorite person ever (BenStokes) being named man of the match.Obviously I was not thrilled about that, as good of a match as it was going into a Super Over (an extra 6 balls to each team) and ending up being decided on boundaries.I am not entirely sure of the boundary count back rule, but I do know that there were people from all over the cricketing world crying out that there was a mistake made.So far as that the Australian coach, in a move so soft and pusillanimous that he may have to move to England, called for a potential “sharing” of the 2019 world cup.A controversial way for my bracket to fail at the last moment, I had Australia over India in the final so not 100% accurate, but still the winner.

Former Ohio Basketball Star Granted Maternity Leave After Unique Drug Test Failure

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Everyone has seen at least one TV show where a character tries some elaborate played out trope to pass a drug test.  The most notable to me being the Oil-Change episode of Blue Mountain State, where it is suggested that the football team undergo a very invasive procedure to clean up their urine.  The use of prosthetic appendages loaded with clean pee is a popular cliché, from BMS to when Vince used it to avoid violating probation in Entourage.  No matter how it gets there it is always the acquisition of reliable clean urine that proves a challenge.  As far back as Elaine in Seinfeld, who borrowed a coworkers stuff after realizing she ate a poppy-seed bagel.  If you recall that did not go well for Elaine at all, and she lost out on a trip abroad with J. Peterman because he thought it was too risky to bring a menopausal woman along. (The woman who donated the sample was a little older than Elaine at the time) Sometimes Life imitates Art, and the best laid plans reveal some interesting …

The Miami Marlins Just Made a Mistake Bigger than Trading Yelich and Stanton

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Freedom of speech, Right to expression, defense of the first amendment and the right to make a joke about whatever you please.  These are all things I hold dear, I think that there is humor in anything and love when widely known organizations join in on the fun.  I find the slightly asinine Twitter account of Wendy's to be charming, and think that it is a model more companies should follow.  The stuffy professional PR campaigns of most businesses are geared to not offend an audience that simply isn't going to be the key demo on twitter.  You want to keep it all classy and above board? Fine, go buy some ad space during Garrison Keillor's program, or reruns of The Golden Girls on TV Land.  But if you're going to be on Twitter, you had better have the wit of Betty White, not cater to her peers.

That being said the Miami Marlins went too far in a recent Twitter tet-a-tet with the Tampa Bay Rays. (not the Devil Rays, that changed in 2008, right about the same time as the W…

One Day Contracts are Stupid

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So it seems we are in the hot season for one day contracts, one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.I understand players and organizations wanting to commemorate a player’s loyalty and contribution to a team, but why not make it an actual contract, display some mutual loyalty and respect through actual play.Most recently and locally Jordy Nelson signed a one day contract to retire with the Packers, merely a year after they released him out of nowhere and he went to spend a year with the Raiders.If the packers felt his contribution and legacy were so important, why not just let him ride out the last few games with the team he had spent his whole career with?Now there will always be that black mark on the record. Donald Driver had the dignity to take a pay cut, stick around and ride off into the night.I think that one day contracts are a bad look for both sides, almost an admission that they made the decision to part ways purely for financial reasons, and not for the good of the gam…

Jermaine Jones, Confirmed Moron, Supplants Ben Stokes as Top Asslete

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If you all out there thought that I wanted an opportunity to take on the ginger England cricket star Ben stokes in the ring, there is a new leader in the clubhouse on professional Assletes I would like to punch, and his name is Jermaine Jones. Ever heard of him? No? Me either, but he is now on the hit list.There are two things I cannot stand for in the sporting world, LeBron James (Really the whole NBA but he epitomizes it) and anyone who takes shots at my beloved Women’s National Team. US Men’s national team Midfielder Jermaine Jones in aninterview stated that “the girls screaming is going to backfire”…..Whoa dude.Just because they are the sweethearts of the nation right now does not mean that we are going to disrespect them by referring to them as “The Girls team” (which he does with some consistency).Just a little background on Jones-y, he is a German-American dual citizen who after realizing that the he was not going to cut it on the German team applied to play with the USMNT whe…

Is This the Real Life? Or is This Just Fantasy (Football)?

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Football is back, almost. But there is a season that has kicked off, the season of “you in?” and the season of “I don’t know about this year, I just don’t have the time” (mainly only from the mouths of last season’s losers), it is that time when the Fantasy football league commissioners are scrambling to get the rosters cemented.The sad scramble to make sure you aren’t going to have to do the sad shuffle into a lame 8 man league.The fight with that one newcomer who tries to tell you that ESPN is way better than NFL.com. I digress, that is only relate-able to the select few of us who have earned the honor and the privilege to be a league commissioner.
But for the lay fantasy team owner, (or are we going to have to go to governor like the NBA?) this is the time of year you are entering into a spirited debate with your fellow owners over a draft date and trying to decide who is worth drafting, and which one of your idiot friends is going to take a kicker first.There are some hot battles …

Hope Solo Thinks The World Cup Champs Still Need Her Crazy Ass

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After one of the most dominating performances in FIFA history, former US women’s national team goal keeper Hope Solo still thinks the team can’t win without her. (A concern I addressed in one of my first blogs previewing the World Cup, read it here)The notably outspoken and occasionally violent Solo said in a statement that she was concerned that the current 28 members of the USWNT will “surrender” in her absence. (Recent history and Alyssa Naeher refute these claims) Of course she isn’t talking about on field wins and losses, Solo is adding her own equal pay lawsuit to the docket, independent of the current one in mediation by the active members of the team.Hope Solo’s motion says that she feels the team’s willingness to accept mediation is already a sign that they are backing down and compromising their positions.While these implications of cowardice could be biting and hurtful under some circumstance, calling people cowards is something of a hobby for Solo, and it is starting to l…